Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
