I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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