Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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