So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
