wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize