I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
