:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
