I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
