let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
