please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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