I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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