Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
