I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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