tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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