Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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