is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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