oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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