how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
