I haven't been this sober since birth.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
