We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
