Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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