Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
