i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do herpes really smell.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
