When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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