Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize