I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
