she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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