my mouth tastes like poor choices
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
