just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry about my life...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
