I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
