your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize