I'm drive I can fine osifer
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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