My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
