Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
