she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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