my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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