I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
