YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
