One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
