his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize