my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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