True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
this boner is exhausting
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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