There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
should my penis look like a turkey
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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