he shaved USA in his pubs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize