I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
