Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
