At least make sure they are 18
Why
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
