I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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