Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
