Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
