I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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