Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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