i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
