YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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