Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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