Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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