why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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