I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
