Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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