well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
