Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
where am i from again
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
